Setup a paragraph formatted as desired, including a bullet point (using my own positioning, not using a provided list style). Create a paragraph style from this. OK so far. Now apply created style to a new paragraph - no bullet. Turn bullets on (Shift+F12) - bullet not in the expected place. Go to 'Format>Bullets and Numbering ...' and set the position of bullet. Could even try updating the style at this stage. Turn bullets off, then turn bullets on - bullet changes position! Create a new numbering/list style to place bullet where it is wanted. Link to this new style in the paragraph style. Turn bullets off then on again. Again the bullet is moved from where it is wanted! I am using metric measurements (I'm not in North America), the changed positions _mostly_ seem to reflect inch measurements. As an example, set position Aligned at 1cm with tab stop and indent at 1.5cm. After turning bullets off and on, they are aligned at .64cm with tab stop and indent at 1.27cm! It appears that the numbering style set is linked to the paragraph style only in name, and that turning bullets off then on replaces the style with some default. The custom numbering (bullet) style is unchanged, the paragraph style still links (apparently) to the numbering style, but the bullet position is no longer what is specified by the numbering style.
There are likely errors in your workflow. First generate your own numbering/list style. Second generate your own paragraph style or adapt an existing one. To link the numbering style to the paragraph style use the drop-down field "Numbering style" in the tab "Numbering" of the paragraph style. Using "Bullets/Numbering off" on a numbered paragraph sets the information "this paragraph shall not belong to a list", even if the style has an associated numbering style. When you then click on Bullets/Numbering again, it does not remove the information "not member of the list" but it sets the information "this paragraph belongs to an anonymous list" on top of it. You need a third click to remove the information "anonymous list". If you have used "Bullets/Numbering off" to set "not member of a list" you can assign the paragraph style again to include the paragraph in the list. I think, this is not a bug report, but a support request.